Usually what I post here is related to questions I am asked by one or some of you. My answer to several of these questions is simple, "exercise objectivity." I'd like you each to feel free to question anything I say. Good discussion is stimulating. Please allow me to write today and clairify some of what I mean when I use the word "objectivity."
Objectivity is a view of everything-- it's the view from the top of the mountain--the place where you can see the whole picture--explained as a response rather than as a reaction--with logic and tempered emotion, yet validation of feelings. It is taking into account the circumstance, the motivation, the genetics (sensitivity levels), and the evaluation of emotional maturity.
Evaluation is more likely to represent a common understanding of reality and usually a kinder one. It is not valuable to judge. Judgement can be subjective, one-dimensional, non-productive and hurtful to all involved. Ultimately, evaluation can exist for the elevation of our personal self--not in competition with others; rather, to realize our own potential; to attain better understanding of our essential self to promote positive forward motion.
We are each on our individual journey and how we interact with another would ideally be with respect. A response gives us choice in our decision in an interaction. A reaction leaves us a puppet of the other's emotions, confused and frustrated, and, of course, no closer to rectifying the situation. For example, a dear young girl I know has a mother who inadvertently sees herself as a worthless. She calls her daughter as a confidant of her frustrations. This daughter cares deeply about her mother. For years the daughter was incapable of understanding the ramifications of her role as confidant. She became increasingly depressed with most interactions she had with her mother because she was simply reacting to the situation. The reaction was to be hurtful to herself because of her helplessness in her relationship with her mother. Eventually she enlisted adult help for her mother so that it was not her responsibility as a child to ensure her mother's well being. The child's connection with her mother is in its proper place, and the child can continue her emotional growth.
Objectivity permits acceptance of ourselves as part of the whole; that if we are at war with one another we are at war with ourselves. Objectivity depends on emotional maturity and promotes empathy, compassion, understanding and respect for differences--with love instead of fear.
Love is freedom.
Hugs,
Peggy
