Often times I hear, “I should know better. I am 37 years old--I am 47 years old. I can’t seem to get my life together. I am hurting everybody. What is wrong with me? I would love to have someone take me in their arms like a child and just hold me.”
These statements illustrate the distress, the quandary, in the minds of sufferers of ‘CNC’ . In some circumstances, chronological age can have very little to do with emotional age. Physical aging happens to us inevitably, whatever else is going on in our lives. We have little control about that process. Emotional age can be deterred, interrupted, or arrested, depending on sensitivity, perception, circumstance, and our ability to allow ourselves to be nurtured.
Early on, I realized that an emotional child could be any age. The problem with this reality is that it is not always (or hardly ever) recognized as such. Therefore, the expectation—the norm—is to treat the sufferer according to his/her chronological presentation rather than to nurture that person according to his/her emotional need.
It is my experience, that understanding a person from his/her emotional need—presentation, is an essential starting point to beginning the healing process.
Have a wonderful day. Peace and Love.