Sunday, May 2, 2010

Counterproductive Crossroads

One of the things I have always felt incredibly sad about for the sufferers of the ‘Negative Mind’—and also for those who lack awareness of ‘CNC’—is hearing the terms “treatment resistant”, “noncompliant” or “You will not want to take me because I have failed every program that I have been in”.

I feel, from my understanding of this disorder, that though the behavior of the sufferer may make one assume that there is resistance to treatment or noncompliance, this inability to be in accordance with therapy is consistent with the insistence of the ‘Negative Mind’, rather than be the wish of the ‘Actual Mind’—the real, the potential person. Because of this seemingly uncooperative attitude, patients are frequently ‘kicked out’ of treatment. Remember, at the point of symptomatology, the ‘Negative Mind’ is the stronger part of the mind—it is the ‘boss’. If this were otherwise, the ‘Actual Mind’ would not be in the position of having to endure insults, all day, internally. If these insults, or, even if faint indications of disapproval are apparent to the patient, the ‘Negative Mind’ is confirmed, yet, again. So, to ‘fail a program’ merely reiterates the negative non-sense the sufferer already supposes about himself/herself. So, with this ignorance, we have arrived at a counterproductive crossroads. We are making the sufferer responsible because of chronological age, rather than emotional ability (this topic I will discuss in its own blog post next time).

Remember, you are not guilty. You are terrified and terrorized. You are a hostage in your own mind.

We understand this.

Peace and love.


Athena said...

Dear Ms Claude-Pierre

Dear Peggy Claude-Pierre,

My name is *** ***** and I am a junior studying psychology at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst. Before I go any further, I find it necessary to tell you that I have been waiting to write this letter since the beginning of April ,when I first learned about you in Professor Richard Halgin's Abnormal Psychology class. Before writing to you, I wanted to make sure that I would know everything I could about you and your findings, to avoid sounding uneducated. I also want to explain before hand that this letter was meant to be completely formal, however your ideas have sincerely been heart felt, and I am not sure I can write a letter without putting my heart into it. Though this may sound a little pecuilar the day in lecture class, when I learned about you, was probably one of my biggest learning experiences at the university. I remember it like it was yesterday:.....

The rest can be read in the email I sent you you do indeed have the time, if not You truly are an inspiration to many psychology majors and professors in our lecture that day, and I look forward to reading your next book.

Anonymous said...

This is to me one of the saddest aspects of the whole matter of eating disorder and other illnesses which are all symptoms of CNC… the treatment for it….or the symptoms of it rather…
Ignorance is more often than not the source of conflictions. And so is the case when it comes to treating self-destructive illnesses. Ignorance is also more often than not a cover for fear when it comes to the professional caretakers of sufferers. They simply can´t understand the nature of the illness.
I started to tell my closest friends and family when I was in recovery "that it´s ok if you don´t understand what´s going on inside of me, I respect that because how could you possibly do? All you need to do is be here, listen and don’t judge."
I think that applies to the professionals treating the sufferers as well.
Not until you completely trust someone, the positive true self of you will feel safe enough to share all of those horrible thoughts terrorizing you inside of your own head, enough to speak freely. You are so afraid of people thinking that you are a freak, or that it will hurt someone if tell the “secret”.
Trust is the keyword I think. If you can´t feel safe why change a more familiar terrorizing place for a less known terrorizing place?
What I needed to do was to realize that I had to accept strength from others for a period of time, because I had none myself. But I had to struggle with myself and it was a bloody and dark fight going on inside of me at that time, that´s for sure. For me Peggy gave me a lot of her strength when I was at the lowest of all points. I took her words and love and carried it with me throughout my stays at different treatment facilities. Love you always for that Peg <3
For all of you suffering, don´t give up on yourself, you´re a treasure-you just have not discovered it yet….! And don´t give up on other people! Most of them care and wants to understand us….and foremost, don´t be afraid, he can´t hurt you or anyone else for that matter…I promise…he´s not real… Lots of love

Athena said...

I apologize for the typos as well.

Peggy Claude-Pierre said...

Dear Readers,

I am so impressed with the generosity of your responses. I have always known that your kindness exceeds normal limits, and, yet again--here is the proof.

Thank you so much for daring to hope--hoping to trust--and trusting to love. I hold you all in my heart with so much love.

Peggy Claude-Pierre said...

I, too, meet wonderful doctors, psychologists, therapists, professors, carers in the helping professions, daily. I want to thank them for the good work they do--their persistence in caring--their humanity--people in all walks of life. Thank you, people, for the reminder. Love you all.

Shoshana A said...

Wow! All I can say is I've been through this MANY times. Even this past hospitalization (which was basically re-feeding) I made sure to be compliant no matter what yet still I was called 'manipulative' an 'anorexic'..not someone who suffers with anorexia, 'non-compliant'. I just was So mad in my head, yet ignored the Dr because i didn't want a fight. But let me tell HAs affected me. I wish more people would understand this like you Peggy!