Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Our Human Commonality

Dear People - this post is, in part, answering recent comments to my posts, "Top of the Mountain." (Anonymous said..."So if I always have to be objective when do I just get to cry? ..."), and "Time and Healing" (Anonymous said... "... the in between place ...").

Of course, your ‘feelings’ are important and should be validated. But for the best results, check that you motive is to enhance and clarify your understanding – to improve a situation for yourself and others. Respectful communication, though not always possible, is a viable place to begin.

Life can never be 'equal' when measured in competition with others. 
Our only contest is to realize our own potential - in loving consciousness of our human commonality.

Whatever another’s behavior is, it is relevant to you only in how you interpret it and pertinent, only in how you allow it to affect you. Not one of us is able to be objective in every situation. Allow for this fact in yourself, as well as in the people you interact with. To ‘perfect’, is a work in progress – a learning, a gleaning of wisdom throughout our lives. Therefore, think of each of us as a work in progress.

If you are treated unkindly or hurtfully or if another’s action leaves you troubled or confused, try to check your anger, frustration or impatience. Perhaps it is beneficial to understand the behavior by the motive – not with judgment, but with compassion. It is possible that anyone who feels it necessary to be unkind may be fearful, in pain himself, or, at least, momentarily misdirected in his understanding of his interaction with the universe. Anger can mean several things: fear, insecurity, defensiveness, lack of conviction of one’s own validity, etc. We are all capable of reacting. Though to a certain extent, how you behave is your prerogative, be certain that you will be comfortable with the consequences.

In becoming well, the ‘in between place’ is indeed a difficult space to contend with. You will often be misunderstood as you take your first independent steps. Perhaps, people in your circumstance may find your behavior unpredictable or unusual, for you, and are concerned for your wellbeing. Work with them to indicate that you are beginning to feel safe and have patience as they change gears.

In an ideal world, despite myriad differences, everyone would operate from a base of self-respect. As I comprehend its meaning, inherent in one’s respect for ‘self’ is a respect for others. Living from an ethical premise, automatically, naturally, includes the wellbeing of others. If we hurt others, we hurt ourselves. If we hurt ourselves, we hurt others. When we demean ourselves, it extends to all of us.

Without respect for ‘self,’ it is difficult to gauge appropriate behavior. Without the full realization of ‘self’, it is difficult to appropriately gauge behavior – ours, or that of others.

Whether locally or globally, each of us struggles to understand our environment from the moment we are born, and perhaps before. Each of us struggles to understand ourselves, and our interaction with others within that environment. Ultimately, we all strive for a balanced mind-state, a peace of being that embodies: positivity, acceptance, optimism, understanding, kindness, compassion, love and forgiveness – of ourselves, and others. Ideally, our individual journey proceeds toward the objective of understanding our universe and working in communion with it.

Whatever the experience, each one of us is simultaneously both a student and a teacher. Are you at peace with your interaction with humanity today?

Peace and love you.


Lori said...

Since I am set on the intent of learning how to love and respect myself this post really struck a chord with me. I will be coming back and reading this again. Thank you.

leah said...

Reading your words today makes me feel very happy with where I have come from and where I am today. The love and acceptance of myself is what has allowed me to love and accept my world and environment, no matter what it brings me.
We all become teachers at any given time in our lives at any age.
What I have gone through has given me the wisdom and knowledge to help others with their own understanding and acceptance. I truly believe that we all want to do good, but there are often circumstances in each of our lives that can change that good. But to not do good, we have to understand that we indeed are affecting others, and we should always remember to think before we release our thoughts out loud. Learning and practicing this can really change the way we interact and love ourselves and each other.
It also brings contentment within yourself, because you are no longer hurting yourself or anyone else if you always think, act and speak with good intent.
These are the things that help me to love and respect myself and those around me and whatever life brings me.
Thank you for confirming this for me today.

Shoshana said...

Thank you for this post. It really rings true for me. At times I feel like just maybe I accept myself but it goes away. I want everything you wrote..peace acceptance...but I still don't know HOW to obtain it. I thought I had it awhile back, but I think I thought wrong. Maybe I never was in recovery. How does one obtain recovery then? How is one genuinely happy and content with themselves? Sorry to ask so many questions. Your blogs are amazing and I absolutely love reading them. I just feel behind now. I feel like I've worked so hard, but obviously not enough. Does one keep going...keep pretending? When do we know it's real?? Love u!!!!!

Neil F said...

Peggy, all the words you say ring true, I just can't put them into practice! All the time its like, right, now I'll try, now I'll try and get out of this loop of negativity, I'll control it now, then I fail, I get angry, the anger comes out in behaviour, I lash out at myself, I last out at another, I feel worse.

I just long for someone else to be in tune with my thought processes, to experience them with me, to point me in the right direction, gently, as trying new behaviours is terrifying to me, such is the voices' hold at keeping me locked into my destructive behaviours.

You are helping me though. Today I was promoted at work, unthinkable a few months ago, but still the voices tell me I'm going to fail fail fail. I can't let them win, but I can't fight them on my own anymore. Thankyou for sharing your wisdom


Shoshana A said...

I love reading your words Peggy. It gives me a light of hope and I thank you for that. <3