You cannot "fail" unless someone is measuring. Are you measuring yourself? If so, why? It is logical to self-assess in order to proceed, but attempt to do so with objectivity and kindness.
You are unique, in so many ways – appreciate your differences. 'Relapse' may mean that you were never better in the first place. When you are well, your attitude about people and yourself is not about competition or ‘measuring up' – it becomes about helping to create understanding wherever possible. There are no walls, nor defenses needed – only understanding and compassion, only love and kindness.
“When you genuinely want everyone to be ok,” there is so much room for ‘self’ because, though we are all individuals, we are also all part of the whole. Therefore, giving to others is automatically giving to ourselves. It is important to gently taking the time to allow yourself into the equation of caring, just as you so willingly nurture others. If you honor yourself respectfully, you are giving happiness to others.
It is in the giving that we receive – it is in the receiving that we give.
Enjoy your day.
Peace and hugs.