Monday, April 12, 2010

The 'Negative Mind' is a Manipulator

The ‘Negative Mind’ is a MANIPULATOR.

A curious and heartbreaking example of the manipulation and strength of persuasion of the ‘Negative Mind’ became clear when my daughter was deadly anorexic. I used to drive her around our city to distract her from her emotional pain, usually from one to four o’clock in the morning. Of course, she could not sleep, her body was hunting for nourishment.

One night, much to my dismay, we passed a man who was in a wheelchair. I hoped that my daughter would not notice him because she worried about everyone, as most sensitive people are. I glanced at him, but then looked quickly away—hoping my daughter would not see the direction of my gaze. After a moment, I looked sideways slightly to see if she had seen him. Silent tears were streaming down her face. I choked, and said, “Honey, look at him. He is so well dressed. His white shirt is cleaned and ironed. His black pants are immaculate. Somebody loves him and is taking care of him.”

She answered with a sob, “I see that mom. But his time, I am not crying about him. I am crying about myself—his pain is evident—nobody will ever know about mine.”

This is one testimony only, to the fact that anorexics oftentimes cannot realize how physically compromised they appear to the rest of the world, but not to themselves. As we all know, the ‘Negative Mind’ convinces its victims that they are selfish in order for it to stay in control. To keep them in a starving, diminished mode, it is necessary for the ‘Negative Mind’ to make them think they look normal, or even bigger than normal.

‘Confirmed Negativity Condition’ initiates an overbalanced negative tape that berates incessantly inside its victim’s head. It is a culmination of negative thinking about one’s self over time that must be reversed over time.

DO NOT believe anything negative that your head tells you about yourself. Cling to those people who you have always trusted. Listen to what they say, and talk to them. Tell them what is going on. Surround yourself with people who are optimistic and positive. You are not guilty. You are not crazy. You are not undeserving. You have a kindness towards others that needs to include yourself. The world cannot do without your sensitivity, in its proper place. You are loved and needed.


Shoshana said...

Thank you so much for sharing this Peggy. I truly hope I can get there one day soon. it's SO hard to not listen to the negative mind when it's so strong. But as you IS possible. I just have to remember this. -Sho

Peggy Claude-Pierre said...

Dear Sho,

Thank you for knowing it is possible. Do not ever let go of that belief. Build on it, no matter how hard it becomes. Remember, eventually, it will fade.
Much love.

Anonymous said...

this is a tall order. i'm scared to death to run people off, so i don't tell when i hurt unless it's grave and then i only tell one person, and then only as little as possible. it's that constant fear of being never enough and always too much. it's the worst paradox to try to live from but verbalizing it is almost as ridiculous. i think that's the NM at work because my friend tells me that when i tell her what's REALLY happening on those rare occasions, that she had no idea how big a problem was or how much i hurt, felt, etc.

i'm trying again to trust and it's like tearing apart a phone book with one hand. maybe it just can't be done alone?

the 'proper place' stuff gets me over and again, because most people are so busy they don't even see that it might be out of balance, they just take without thinking because the love is offered. maybe that's closer to normal. i just don't ever want to take more than what's right and fair. i need to make sure i give back at least as much as i take. i try really hard. i want to give love from a whole place, not a broken one. i think though, even this love is better than nothing at all. i hope so.

thank you, Peggy.
Love you all...


Peggy Claude-Pierre said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peggy Claude-Pierre said...

Dear WOL,

Thank you so much for your courage to speak out. In doing so, you publicly confirm my voice for you. You have always given more than you have received--please begin to realize that fact--it will help your healing. Any positive love is appreciated love. The world needs so much more of it. People can only give love totally, if they let go of fear.

Love you.