Monday, March 15, 2010

Kind Interpretation

One of the helpful ways not to blame others is to consider their motivation as individuals. We can then realize the SO many variables behind each interaction. This could be our first thought instead of reacting to a questionable or abnormal behavior.

One's behavior usually describes himself--his understanding of "self" at the moment. Negative behavior can be a shallow description of what is really happening within the emotional mind of the individual. What he needs from the interaction is usually much deeper and takes, hopefully, kind interpretation. When comprehension is not immediately available to us, it will serve us well to give the individual the "benefit of the doubt." The need for attention, the need for solace, a panic or anxiety reaction--be it aggressive, introverted, condescending, hurtful, shameful, or manipulative--all indicate an understanding (or lack thereof) of one's level of peace within one's self and that of their harmony with humanity--emotional maturity. Others can still be on the road to that possibility and with compassion and empathy from us, that possibility becomes a probability. Hopefully, with enough stability and encouragement, this can become a surety.

Most anti-social, unsuitable behaviors indicate a lack of self knowledge (self love). Negatively reacting to a negative reaction leaves a mess of consequences which ultimately require a positive response to make those involved feel balanced with their day and each other. Consider that a young child is hungry, has not had ample sleep, misses his parents because one or the other is away, a parent was impatient or angry, one of them has become ill, parents are focusing on the new baby, he cannot handle the sleepover after all and he left his teddy bear at home.....So.....reacts in fear. Emotional maturity allows us to immediately assess and respond with kindness and empathy with the consequence of a return to feelings of security for the child. Emotional immaturity in us, can result in a reaction to a reaction, which will build on the interim of insecurity and will have the affect of destablizing the child for future interactions--thus creating the beginnings of the anxiety of negative expectations for the next time.

With children, it is easier for us to respond, to evaluate the motive behind the behavior. With adults, we have more expectation, less tolerance, less willingness to understand, forgive or empathize, more scorn if behavior is odd or out of place. Oftentimes, we expect chronological age--adulthood--to be on par emotionally. The reality is, that many adults have been emotionally blocked at a young age and are valiantly trying to live despite this blockage. They are attempting to contend with and to understand and control their environment from a absolutely terrifying internal place, a maze, that no amount of societal-friendly accolades--(example, scholastic honors) can console.

If we can accept that life is a struggle to gain and maintain a foundation to allow progress on each our own path; that there is no competition except to attain our own peace, first, within ourselves and then, to spread outwards to others, we can allow each interaction to reflect our love and hope to find and inspire the good in everyone.

Love and Peace. Enjoy your day,

Peggy Claude-Pierre


Anonymous said...

What you say Peggy, is more often than one can think, brutally true...and the fear of being in that place and that no one can see that or recognize it is the worst kind of fear one can ever experience. As with everything age is not a simple number, it´s extremley complexed, and one can have an emotional age of 4, intellectual age of 80 but a chronical age of 25 for an example...if more people would be open to listen and try to comprehend that,if not understand it, it would be a huge step forward for us all as humans...
Thanks for your words of wisedom, always!
Much Love

Peggy Claude-Pierre said...

Dear Michaela,

Hi sweetheart. As usual, your human kindness always comes to the fore. Thank you so much for your caring feed back and yes, I agree with you. I am hoping with this blog to encourage courage, encourage understanding, and ultimately encourage action. I am so fortunate to know the people who are writing. I am so spoiled to have the fortune to sleep at night with my heart filled to the brim and my arms hugging all of you in my mind.

love you.

Anonymous said...

my mom taught me to 'always err on the side of kindness'.

if adult people responded to adult people with this in mind and in heart, so much suffering could be alleviated in a single moment, and it certainly wouldn't be carried forward. it's hard to be angry with a little child who is desperately trying to reach out in any way, yet people often miss what is so obvious, that we are all those little children on the inside.

in love and gratitude,

Peggy Claude-Pierre said...

Well, honey, if the world were full of people like you--there would never be wars. I am humbled by your words and honored to know you. Love you always.