Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Top of The Mountain

Usually what I post here is related to questions I am asked by one or some of you. My answer to several of these questions is simple, "exercise objectivity." I'd like you each to feel free to question anything I say. Good discussion is stimulating. Please allow me to write today and clairify some of what I mean when I use the word "objectivity."

Objectivity is a view of everything-- it's the view from the top of the mountain--the place where you can see the whole picture--explained as a response rather than as a reaction--with logic and tempered emotion, yet validation of feelings. It is taking into account the circumstance, the motivation, the genetics (sensitivity levels), and the evaluation of emotional maturity.

Evaluation is more likely to represent a common understanding of reality and usually a kinder one. It is not valuable to judge. Judgement can be subjective, one-dimensional, non-productive and hurtful to all involved. Ultimately, evaluation can exist for the elevation of our personal self--not in competition with others; rather, to realize our own potential; to attain better understanding of our essential self to promote positive forward motion.

We are each on our individual journey and how we interact with another would ideally be with respect. A response gives us choice in our decision in an interaction. A reaction leaves us a puppet of the other's emotions, confused and frustrated, and, of course, no closer to rectifying the situation. For example, a dear young girl I know has a mother who inadvertently sees herself as a worthless. She calls her daughter as a confidant of her frustrations. This daughter cares deeply about her mother. For years the daughter was incapable of understanding the ramifications of her role as confidant. She became increasingly depressed with most interactions she had with her mother because she was simply reacting to the situation. The reaction was to be hurtful to herself because of her helplessness in her relationship with her mother. Eventually she enlisted adult help for her mother so that it was not her responsibility as a child to ensure her mother's well being. The child's connection with her mother is in its proper place, and the child can continue her emotional growth.

Objectivity permits acceptance of ourselves as part of the whole; that if we are at war with one another we are at war with ourselves. Objectivity depends on emotional maturity and promotes empathy, compassion, understanding and respect for differences--with love instead of fear.

Love is freedom.




andresenhanne said...

We must be strong. The world is beautiful, I think, but we have to allow us to open the eyes to see it. Life is not easy, especially when you are struggling with bad things, but we must keep our spirits up. There is hope, and there are pleasures in the life. But sometimes we need help to find the way to see it - to experience it. Help your self to see all the beautiful things the world brings. The best of all is that everything is possible.

“True strength is staying strong when everyone else expects you to fall.”


Peggy Claude-Pierre said...

Hanne. Thank you for your words. Hope your day is beautiful.

andresenhanne said...

But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall.

Peggy Claude-Pierre said...

Dear Hanne, Thank you so much for your positivity and inspiration even from the place you currently stand. Hope is an essential ingredient to beginning the journey to reverse the negative mind. You are smart enough to listen with patience and kindness. Love you

Silvia Duarte said...

Thank you for existing and having a mission of love, sharing and support for this noble and worthwhile cause. I'll be always on your side and believing that this is the way. This is indeed the only way. The way of LOVE.

Anonymous said...

So if I always have to be objective when do I just get to cry? When is it okay to have angry feelings? Is that not allowed when somebody hurts me or is mean?

I can love everybody but isn't the moderation you talk about being able to tell them the truth, even if it's only my truth, my reality and why is that so much less important than everyone elses? This just makes me think it's never going to be equal and that I ALWAYS have to be better, kinder, more loving. Don't my feelings ever matter or is it just the 'good' and happy ones? So utterly confused and sincerely not understanding how to be real and healthy at the same time. Somebody ALWAYS ends up judging when I have unhappy feelings (even when it's clear to a lot of people that there is a good reason) and then people wonder when I have nothing to say because to even express myself in those ways is brutal and punishing in my head all by myself without any other input. It's not like I need any help with that.

I'm really starting to think I'm way to stupid to understand what it is I'm supposed to be and what's allowed. People love me when I'm an 'angel' but they're ticked because I'm sick at the same time. So then I try the boundary thing and try to express myself the best way I know how and they're mad all over again. It's just easier to love everyone and hate me rather than loving everyone, being totally misunderstood and having people unhappy with me just because I have feelings in here somewhere, too.

So completely frustrated and yeah I know, not allowed that feeling. Bad girls get angry.
I'm glad other people understand and are able to be helped. For all of you, I will carry the hope.

Peggy Claude-Pierre said...

For a response to this, please see my posts entitled "Our Human Commonality" and "You Cannot Fail."
Thank you.