Hey People; big hugs.
A question repeats itself in the emails you have sent me so I will write you on the subject of blame over the next few days. Blame is often tied to guilt. Guilt deserves its own emphasis, so I will concentrate on that some days later.
Come from a place of love and realize that no one who is at peace with himself wants anything but good to come from any interaction. Each of us has the gift of many opportunities every day to create a bit of happiness and good will in the world.
Understand life as a journey of emotional intelligence-tempered by logic-leading to emotional maturity. We can evaluate our level of emotional maturity by our ability to respond rather than to react. To not react does not mean to not validate one's emotions. There are healthy ways of doing so in a manner that usually becomes a shortcut to a successful outcome.
The way a person reacts or responds generally reflects their own sense of self (or lack thereof), not yours. If you are unhappy with yourself for reacting, in action or word against yourself or others, then it is helpful to look at what state of mind you are beginning from. If you let go of fear of being hurt, no one can hurt you. If you come from no ego, empathy and compassion will allow you to respond rather than to react. In the end, you have done yourself a service. You will feel better. Happiness will course through you in a positive mind-body experience. Build on it.
By the same token, when someone reacts in anger, offensiveness, blame, disrespect in interaction with you, they are showing you, not necessarily who they are but where they are at on the journey to emotional awareness-emotional maturity. Again, it is not up to us to judge anyone unkindly, but rather, for our own growth, to evaluate their abilities to interact positively. Certainly, if there is a way we can turn a reaction from another to a positive response--we are all winners. Body and mind chemicals are healthier, we are happier all around.
We have no control over the universe, only the possibility of positive response from our inner core-our 'actual self'. Life is full of the unexpected, where spontaneity and flexibility will be better friends to us than our plans have ever been.
You might have fun evaluating your own ability to respond (rather than to react) in interactions. Like you, I face this challenge everyday and still have much to learn.
Please feel free to share your experiences, they are always welcome.