Guilt need not be a burden if it is understood in the context of its reality--its positivity. How could that possibly be--say you! It is only when it is served up in self-condemnation and held on to pointlessly long that it loses its meaning--its direction--its usefulness.
Follow me on a little journey.
Over time each one of us forms a set of personal ethics that are not necessarily determined by, or consistent with, the mores of the times--our social context. Hopefully, our ‘characteristic spirit,’ our ‘personal disposition,’ therefore, our ETHIC is such that honesty, kindness, empathy, courage, and positivity--even if it isn't the norm, can stand firm. So--guilt is useful only to reflect the honor of our personal ethic momentarily--to remind us of who we really are. Then, we can act accordingly. In normal self-development, guilt is not meant to paralyze and overwhelm us with confusion, inaction, or despair. Ultimately, it should move us to positive action, to gently correct that which does not comply with our internal core--our understanding of our SELF. The intention of guilt should be to remind us, to bring us back to the moderate, ethical expectation we have of ourselves. So…guilt is only a minor, corrective tool of our conscience—which is the necessary, steadier, companion-friend to our ethic.
Here is an example: a six year old child in grade school comes home with the flu. Her three year old sister subsequently, three days later, gets the flu badly. The six year old child can hardly sleep, tells stories to the three year old, stays with her to make her feel better and to assuage the guilt of having brought home the flu. This is typical of CNC-distorted thinking (Confirmed Negativity Condition) .
The balance is disrupted when guilt becomes a way of life. CNC sufferers often feel extreme guilt around circumstances that they can't control. Apologizing for someone else's anger, always trying to mediate, always trying to take the blame, being sorry for everything, all the time, becomes a way of life.
As is necessary in everything we do, it is important to learn and practice moderation. Reality is moderation. Moderation is reality. Extremes are dangerous, damaging, and dysfunctional. Lend a thought to what you do today. Does it make common sense?
I send sunshine energy your way today.
Love you,
Peggy Claude-Pierre
4 comments:
"We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate --- thereby, making the present comfortable and the future promising."
-- Maya Angelou
Thank you for your interest and your participation Diana - it is very much appreciated.
(Wonderful choice.)
Much love, Peggy
first...i love maya angelou Diana! :)
i was actually just thinking about what you´re talking about here. my beautiful nephew sebastian whom is now 3, and i was spending the day together today, we were playing and laughing as we always do :) and foremost hugging :) he just loves to be close and always tells me not to worry and not to be sad....i know the signs much too well and have been since he was a baby...and i always tell him and make sure that he knows that it´s not his responsibilty to make me happy and if i worry, and that i love him and i will take care of him always....and now we always have the best times together and he relaxes and i just love to see him being that free!!!
i´m actually working on a photo exhibition where i´m recreating specific moments that marks a person suffering from cnc for life.focusing on the illness beyond the physical anorexia, bulimia, self cutting etc...i want people to see the true pain when living with this disease and not just the starved body....i will let you see the collection when it´s done if you want to? :)
lots of love my wonderful angel >3
michaela
Michaela,
Good for you for knowing the signs. Keep up the good work. Let him know he does not have to worry about anybody. Much love.
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